So, with all these techniques out there and dating being such an intrinsic part of our culture, is the “player” really the one to blame? I think not. Humans are biologically wired to be attracted to the opposite sex. The game is instilled within everyone from the moment they are born. Thus, in that sense, “having game” can almost be seen as genetic. Which of us are given the best genetic tools (looks, personality, etc.) to succeed in flirting and finding a date? Therefore I propose the quote should really go “Don’t hate the player, hate genetics and American culture.” There would be no more cheese pickup lines if everyone had arranged marriages like in other cultures, and there would be no mating at all if humans weren’t wired to want to reproduce. It isn’t really anyone’s fault if they seem like they are trying to hard or are making a fool of themselves, it isn’t there fault. It also isn’t your fault if you say “yes” to the wrong person. It is the fault of genetics and culture that is pushing us to act the way we do. That’s why I say “Don’t hate the player or the game.”
Monday, April 9, 2012
Got Game?
I’m not sure where it started exactly, but people always say: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” implying flirting is a game. On paper, flirting is just a way get to know someone you are in attracted too. However, it is much more complex than that which is when flirting and dating becomes a game. People are they “players” and trying to pick up a date is the “game.” Much like a game there are techniques, some better than others. You can use pickup lines, you can creepily text and call someone over and over that you just me the night before, you can buy someone a drink, or very simply be yourself. The list of ways goes on and on and some work and some don’t. Also like a game, there are winners and losers in the sense of if you picked up a date. More directly, dating has turned into a more obvious game in trying to find someone online and meeting up in person. In addition, there are speed-dating events to try and help people get a date and supposedly find love.
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Your blog post was really interesting and put the dating game in such a different perspective. I agree, you can't really hate the player because they are just doing exactly what you're doing. Moreover, you can't hate the game because if it weren't for the game, what would we have? You could say exchange marriages - but I know that I for one would much rather the game than that. I like how you pointed out that like a game, dating has winners and losers. Sometimes the game of dating benefits you, while other times it does not. Although I don't want to generalize this to all people, I think that eventually things do work out. Even if it takes a lot of losing to get there, people do experience some type of win at some point - whether it be "scoring," turning someone down, finding a partner, etc. Therefore, I think it's unfair for one to say they hate the game in general. Instead, maybe it's that they hate the one outcome of that one specific game. You can't hate the entire game though because without it, you'd never win. Also, losing makes you appreciate winning more. Overall, I think that like everything in life, you have to lose a few times before you win.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting post and something that I have thought about writing after hearing about televisions shows such as the Pickup Artist. On these shows, men compete by showing which "loser" can change and become the ultimate Pickup Artist. While the show has reached a level of ridiculousness far beyond what you can imagine, it just shows how literally every aspect of life has some form of gaming in it. Before the phrase was coined, people didn't talk about "who has better game than who". However now, in the dating world, that is what separates the predators from those who leave the bar hungry. The dating game, like all games, involves many different strategies and ultimately you must choose which strategy will be best in specific situations, often times without any prior knowledge at all. In the end, while there may be different definitions of a player, there still is the same goal like in every game, to win.
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